New Year’s Resolutions – Are Your Family and Friend’s Sabotaging You?

It’s that time of year again. A new beginning and we all have ideas about how we are going to make this year much better than the last one. One traditional way is by making lists of changes we are going to make – the New Year’s Resolution list!

So here we are into the second month of 2012. How are you doing with your resolutions? Unfortunately, if you are like most people, all the good intentions have faded and you are back on the same path you were in 2011. Why is this?

The problem is your self image. For the previous year and a great deal longer, you have viewed yourself exactly as you are.  Overweight, a smoker, time waster and whatever else about yourself you wish to change for the better.

This picture is YOU! You see it every day and other people see it everyday. Yourself and others demand that it be you because to your conscious mind and the family and friends around you, it IS you!

Interestingly, making a change in yourself bothers other people! It doesn’t matter whether the change is positive or negative. So, not only are you having to deal with your own personal obstacles to change, you get piled on by those around you. Sadly, the people that are closest to you, family and dear friends, are the worst offenders.

If your self improvement program has been scrapped for 2012, you need to examine why. Look at things within yourself that blocked you and look at the people around you that contributed to keeping you as you are. I think you will be surprised at how much others have worked to maintain the overweight or smoker you.

When you realize this external, unexpected support to block your change, you can take charge of it. It’s not too late to get back on track. Want to lose weight? You CAN do it. Want to quit smoking? You CAN do it. But it requires a firm resolve to change and a resistance to those around you keeping you as you are.

Let’s look at the desire to be thinner as an example. A starting place to identify obstacles to your goal to lose weight is your family. If you are a man, look at a picture of your father at your current age; if you are a woman, look at a picture of your mother. Now, it is important to look at a picture of your parents when they were the  age you are now (younger pictures do not reflect the current reality). What do you see?

For myself, I saw that I was inadvertently looking just like my father. Who was out of condition and developed a large gut. It didn’t help that my relatives said, “Oh, he looks just like Jack!” Of course, my first inclination and I’m sure yours would be as well is to deny it. NO WAY! I don’t look anything like that!

But they were right. My father died in 1991 at the age of 61.  He was actually just 6 months into his 61st year and died of a heart attack. I pulled a picture of dad and had to admit, I was on that path.

Well, I am sure that my father did not want me to end up like he did.  With that in mind, I started a weight loss program and today, I don’t look like my father. I’m sure that he would be proud of that fact!

However, if your parents are still alive and they have weight problems, they may unconsciously support the current overweight you; it is the YOU they know.

You have to overcome this external support to be overweight. They are only doing it because they view that as YOU when of course, that is not really you. You have to realize that to be in better health is not disrespectful to your parents who may not be in good health.

You are your own person! Parents and friends may be uncomfortable with you changing your body image but, YOU have to live with the consequences. Just as I decided I did not want to end up like my father, you have to decide that you too, want to be healthy and have a positive body image.

So, if your New Year’s Resolutions fell apart, look at the people around you and see how they contributed. THEN, get back on TRACK! You can do it!

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